high sex drive

so i almost did a very unsafe bad thing simply because my sex drive has gone up since a meds change. I ended up getting stood up for the GB. and in the end I think it was a good thing too. what was going on in my mind? I don't know. just that I needed something anything to make me feel comfortable in my skin. Changing my meds has thrown me for a loop and it is affecting my decision making abilities. but I did see the shrink, he gave me something to counter act the discomfort I was feeling. I also did a good thing by calling on one of my couples for help, should have done that first. he came over and took care of my sex need. and the new pill took care of the rest. Feeling much calmer today and more in control of myself. Having a high sex drive can be good but when I start making poor decisions it's not so good for me. I suppose it is just that large amounts of anything can be bad, even sex drive.

on a plus note I met a guy tonight on a first date, E, and I think I am going to take him to the swinger party for new years. I like him because he seems like a good guy and he has a bald head. I have a thing for the shaved heads. Also he actually showed up for the date!! lol been stood up too much this last few week that I have been trying to plan more dates. I'm going to take a break from trying to meet new guys till after new years.

pushing my boundries

i sit here in nothing but a very short jean skirt and a very see through while long sleeve shirt. I'm nervous and excited. I am going to my first gang bang. i don't know anyone there. but there will be another girl there. i gave address to a friend for safety.

I don't know what to expect, or why i am doing this. but i want to push myself. i'm pretty tame for a swinger lol and i suspect i am a bit manic as well. my sex drive went waaaay up when i got off my seriquil.

i even jumped a 24 year old the other day, a friend of a friend. and i am still so very horny.

well i will be on later to tell you how it went.

new plan

So I have a new plan, I am stepping up my efforts to find the right guy, I have had a few dates in the last 2 weeks, and more next week. I figure it is a numbers game the more guys I meet the more likely to find the special one.

I also decided I need a booty call guy or another couple to play with at least 1-2 times a month is not working for me. I neeeed more then that. I am hoping to find someone for on going NSA fun and hoping it won't take to long to find.

A guy I met over 2 months ago, (M) the Hungarian, got a hold of me again. He had been in Hungary all this time with a sick mom. I Almost got a second date but his mom got sick again and had to go back in hospital so he went back. So I figure I will for sure hear from him when he gets back again.

so much for the new guy

ya so after I wrote my last article I just never heard from him again. I'm getting very tired of guys acting like they are all into me and then vanishing. I do have to admit to being a little pathetic and desperate as I e-mail.ed or texted him every couple of days for almost 2 weeks just asking him to talk to me and tell me why. The least someone can do when dumping you is tell you that you are dumped and why. How am I supposed to learn from my mistakes or decide it was him not me, if I never know why they run away?

So after my 2 weeks of trying to get him to talk to me I changed my bio back to single on my date site. I also stepped up things and started making an effort to contact guys and going on the quick messenger to meet guys there too. I've had two dates from that before my computer crashed (still working on it)

With the second guy I went on a date with (G) I broke my rule about no sex on the first date, mainly because my sex drive had hit a up spike and I had had my period all week. By the time I went on the date I was ready to jump anything that moved. I actually preferred the guy i went on a first date with (T). If I do not hear back from G i will not be too heart broken.

I am getting so tired of all this bull shit i just want to find the right person to live my life with.

I did a count of all the guys i have slept with the other day...i lot count when i started trying to count the people in my new Provence. I should go through my blog to find out lol. but he count is at approximately 60 people. Most people would consider that a lot. it doesn't seem like a lot when you are living it though. my count in BC went up so quick for two reasons. One is that i have gone to at least 1 or 2 swinger parties each year that I have been here. had a few more couples as well (that's 2 added at once)
the second reason is that I finally got over the sexual abuse (marital rape) that my sons dad did to me, which for me meant that I do not have to wait months for me to get comfortable enough with most guys to sleep with them. soo I tend to have alot more one night stands then I did before, and I now always have sex on the second date.

new boyfriend?

well I went to MV's place for the weekend, it was amazing!
We seem to totally click together. He gets me so horny!
we are both into bondage and he makes bondage stuff !(he's a welder)
very cool. He is also into playing with trany's So I think that will be a new experience for me. I always like new experiences.

He's mellow, super nice. He has a dog and a cat as well, so I got some animal cuddles over the weekend too. Did a lot of talking. Seems like he is totally into me, pretty sure he has already fallen for me hard.

so all that and he makes decent money. He wants to travel the world and spoil me rotten.
he's basically offering me everything I ever wanted and more. It almost sounds too good to be true. I am trying not to get too excited but it is hard to not hope.

I'm supposed to see him again this weekend, so I am just going to take it one step at a time and see how it goes.

new guy

So while C continues to call me every couple of days and we have good talks. he has yet to come here because he is about 2 hours away and he works and is busy alot. I am still hoping to get to meet him.

On Tuesday I got an e-mail from another guy MV. I put him on my hotmail and we started chatting right away then we talked on the phone. Like C he is good with the idea of living on a small farm. he doesn't have it right now, but is willing and has, in the past, run a major horse farm with pure breeds.

And people said trying to find a guy who want a farm and a swinger life style was hard. LOL
Finding them is not so hard it's trying to find the right one that's a keeper that's hard. I will admit that it is still a waay smaller pond I am fishing in, but not impossible.

MV also lives about 2 hours away, but in the other direction. However came to see me for our first date last night. I like a man of action. he works in the wine industry. Takes a wine bottler on a semi to vineyards to bottle their wine. So this is his slow time of the year. meaning he has time. Time is a good thing in my books. So we went for dinner, I let him pick the wine because he knows his wines. We hit it off right away. talking came easy. he's really into traveling in the winters. he likes Thailand. He also goes to California every year for a wine convention. So if we do get together I'm going to get to do alot of traveling.
We defiantly had sexual attraction as well.It took will power to not have sex with him on the first date. he wanted to come back for a second date today. I told him Friday would be better. (Tomorrow) he wants to take me to his place soon to meet his animals (dog, cat)and his friends, who kept texting him last night to ask how the date was going. After dinner we went to the beach, smoked some weed and talked for a couple of hours. Then we went to the strip club and watched a few dancers. Guys love it when I take them there. So i am very into him. He's not the best looking guy out there. But when we talk i laugh alot. When he kisses me, well I get all kinds of tingles. He seems very into me and I get the feeling that if we do start dating it won't be long before he will want me to move in with him. Not sure if i am ready to move quite that fast. but I am jumping the gun.

I do still like C as well, just never met him yet. I am hoping I will not have to choose between them at some point. However after 3 years of being single the odds of that are slim.
for now I am just going to go with it.

halloween swinger party

On Saturday I went to A and T's swinger party, their second party.
My couple W and G showed up. and J from my biker couple went as my date. His wife decided to stay home and have her own playmate over.

They ended up with a lot of people there, good party all around. there was a lot of first timers. a few single guys and another single girl. every one just hung out and got to know each other for most the night. around 11 I asked W and G to join me and J in the private room. (apparently J doesn't like to play in front of people) It was the first time I ever got all of them together at the same time, only C was missing. It was tons of fun. After that others started playing. some of the single guys ended up just sitting in the living room, I felt bad for them and would have played with them but I was starting to not feel good (seems to be my curse with parties)I had a tummy ache and was bloated.Instead I chatted them up and got to know them. All in all it was a great party, lots of fun. I would have liked to play more then I did, but I was sore enough the next day from the playing I did do lol.

They are thinking of doing a new years party, competing with K and J's new years party. I am betting most of the people at this party will be there for new years. can't wait.

on another note I am continuing talking to C every couple of days. I Hope I actually get to meet him soon.

update

been a bit of a busy week.
A and T invited me to a swinger Halloween party on the 29th. can't wait! I am dressing Egyptian this year, have some white sheer material to work with. and because they are in walking distance to me I can go myself and not have to worry about trying to find a date.

j from my biker couple came for a visit. went great as usual.


the next day I had a first date with a new guy, M. he's Hungarian and has a very thick accent. I had a hard time understanding him sometimes. He seems nice. I guess I am not terribly excited about him, normally I would be but C is kinda distracting my attention.

still talking to C on the phone he used to be a counselor, which explains his mellow soothing counselor voice. I did invite him to the Halloween party but he is not sure if he can afford to come out here just yet, but i am betting he just might prioritize it. but like I said earlier I can go no matter what so I am not stressed about it at all. so far I do prefer him to M. Not sure why just seems like more of a connection, maybe it's his soothing voice lol. Last time I talked to him he said he was surprised I hadn't asked him what he looked like. I told him it was because it is the least important thing about him. He described himself as having a beard and long hair, a hippy biker look. Not what I was expecting from a counselor, black belt kinda guy but it's all good. To be honest though picturing a biker looking guy teaching Martial arts makes me giggle. I'm gonna have to ask him how long his beard is...the longer it is the funnier the picture in my head is hehehe.

As a side note a guy from waaay back, S, keeps e-mailing me asking how I am doing ect. I stopped trying to see him when he just couldn't keep a date got left waiting to often. I don't mind chatting with him, but he would have to do something pretty major for me to get interested in him.

perfect?

so i met a guy on line last night, C, and then we chatted on the phone for a bit.
He lives a bit far away. however he seems perfect for me.

he has 11 acres grows his own vegetables and herbs (he's a herbalist) hunts all his own meat. He's a 4th degree black belt, teaches Martial arts. writes children's books (published)
and he is into the swinger lifestyle. oh and even makes his own beer!

he's basically living the lifestyle I want to live. I would add some chickens and a milking cow though lol I enjoyed talking to him, he's seems real nice. He's already talking about coming here to met me next weekend or the weekend after that.

He almost seems to perfect. Like the guy who lived up north, he seemed perfect too but then he just stopped talking to me with no explanation, just poof, gone. I always wonder, when something seems too good to be true. I wonder what is wrong with him. I wonder if I'll just meet him once and never hear from him again. I should be more positive. I have this little excited spark in me, but I am scared to hope too much that this one is THE one.

As for the last guy W, well he called once said he would try to come over if he could get a ride, haven't heard from him since. So you see why I do not want to get too excited about someone, been doing the dating thing for too long now and nothing has happened. It's all getting far to repetitive. I still hope though. There is always that little spark when I meet someone I am into.

fun night

So last night I was cuddled up in bed Reading a good book, when I got a phone call from a new single guy who I had given my number too a bit ago. He hadn't called so I just forgot about him. I will call him W. We talked for a bit and he asked if he could come over with some beer. So first rule I broke of mine was having him in my house on a first date. Usually they don't even get my address on a first date. So I kinda knew where this was going to go in the end. Especially because I have been rather bored and horny lately.

So he got here around 10pm first thing he noticed was my rock collection. He is into rocks as well and he loves my art work. Turns out he is a Gemini as well. He is 36 was born just a over a week before I was. So he is younger then the usual guys I date these days. We seem to have a lot in common. So after a few beers one thing leads to another, naturally, and we end up in bed. Second rule of mine I broke, sleeping with a guy on first date. However he was amazing in bed, made me cum soo many times and he came soo many times as well. Every time he wanted to go again I was surprised. He just kept going! Wore me right out! I just haven't been getting enough sex lately I am getting out of shape. With him around though I am sure I will get into shape quickly. that is if he calls me again. I never seem to hear back from guys if I sleep with them on the first date, so I'll just wait and see. I hope so I really liked him.

The swinger life style

So many people wander what the life style is really like. Is it as wild and fancy free as it seems from the outside? Well as a swinger myself I can give you a peek into the lifestyle.

The parties, every one hears about the parties. Truly they are the best part of swinging. Two maybe 3 times a year I get to go to a big party. Where I live there is one couple I know of that has BIG parties. Lots of people, a hot tub, rooms ect. They can be a lot of fun, but there are a few rules you should know before you go to such a party. Anyone not following the rule will be asked to leave.
1. no cameras
2. like Vegas what happens at the party stays at the party
3. You can never out someone as a swinger to anyone outside the party (most swingers are very secretive about it)
4. if you see people playing you can ask to join, politely
5. they can accept or decline, politely
6. if they say no you just walk away and talk to someone else
7. don’t start arguing with people

because of these simple rules and the fact that everyone there is very open minded, the general environment is welcoming and friendly. Now most would think that everyone would be getting down to playing right away, but it never happens that way. Usually for the first few hours everyone is just chatting with old friends and meeting new people. Every once in awhile two people see each other and exclaim that they never knew “they” were swingers too! You would be surprised how many people are swingers.

As for what happens once the playing starts. Well that depends on what each person is there for. Some just like to watch. Some only play with people they know or just with each other. Some have specific fantasies they want to act out. And some are open to playing with whoever they meet. Different couples have different rules about who they can or can not play with. Some have more rules, others less.

Everyone is just looking to enjoy themselves. I have yet to see anyone fight or argue at one of these parties, unlike other parties. I personally find that swingers are nicer then the average person. I always enjoy myself and make new friends. (Whether I play with them or not) every time I go to a party I know more and more people there.

So that’s the parties, but what about the rest of the year? Well most couples have a few couples that they play with. Basically great friends they like to hang out with and play with. For most couples this happens maybe once a month some times less some times more. It is not an every day or even every weekend thing. Most couples look at it as a way to spice up their sex lives once in awhile. I myself have 3 couples I play with on going, but I only see them once every few months when they have time.

One good thing about the swinging lifestyle is that there are no jealousy issues. For most couples there is no need to lie or go behind their partners back. For myself I look at it this way. People cheat when in monogamous relationships because there is something they are not getting from their partner. Plus the sex can get boring. with swingers you keep things spiced up with 3 ways and such. Also I feel that it is very hard to provide everything a person needs in a relationship, with swingers that pressure is off.

That all said, some swingers do not play by the rules. A lot of couples have a rule of not playing separate. But then the guys tell girls like me they are aloud to play separate. I have found it very important to have to woman tell me they are aloud to play separate. Just goes to show that some people will just always lie. No group of people is perfect there is good and bad in all of us.

I find the less rules you have the less chance of someone lieing.

new look

so I've been fiddling with the templates and gadgets you can add on here.
I hope everyone likes the new changes.
I just added a news real gadget, hoping to find relevant news storeys, not sure how good that is working. will have to wait and see. I thought it would be good to have something to read besides what I am writing. lol

I am also now working on adding some web links to relevant sites. so I will be adding more, keep an eye on it.
on another note:
I think it is great that I have a whole 4 members, but do you think you could pass it along to some of your friends? That would be great! Thank you

Stood up twice in one night!

what a horrible night! I've been talking to this guy, J, for a few weeks on msn. He works a lot so took a bit to pin him down for a date. We agreed tonight (saturday) he would meet me at 6pm. Now this guy has talked to me just about every day this last few weeks. but yesterday I didn't here from him, then nothing today to conferm the date. I had a bad feeling about it. Also a few days ago I heard about a fetish dance going on in my town this saturday, and a possible date, R,. I turned him down becouse i already had a date with J. even though i really wanted to go to the dance. Just before 6pm R was online still wanting to go to the dance. So I told him if I got stood up I would like to go to the dance with him. So when I got stood up I convinced him to come down. Apparently when he got here my quite little culdesac was exploding with a whole bunch of people arguing, and then yelling at j and asking him who he was and where he was going... I hear none of this...So he gave up on me and got out of there and went to the dance without me... Of course I forgot to give him my phone number. And to add to all this, as if it were not enough. J from my biker couple J and C. asked me today if there were anything going on in vernon tonight, like maybe a dance...he was going for a ride on his bike and wanted to see me tonight... i turned him down too becouse of the date i got stood up for. grrrrrr sooo months of nothing. then everyone wants to see me on the same day. I go with the one I made plans with first, even when I wanted to cancel. and I end up getting to see no one! ( you can laugh if you want, it's kinda funny) If J had just cancled I would have been able to make earlier plans with J or R and none of this would have happend. you just can't make this shit up I am getting sooo tired of this whole dating thing. How many more first dates am I going to have to have before I find someone? I also hate sitting at home knowing people are out having fun at an event I really want to go to.

going slow

some random thoughts

well things seem to have slowed down a bit in the dating department.
I haven't had a first date in a few months.
and I did have my son here for a month this summer,
so I didn't get to play at all for 6 weeks.
Thank goodness I was able to call on the guy from one of my couples
to come over when my son left.

I've talked to a few people on line but have yet to meet them.
one guy turned out to be a total scam.
(working in Nigeria, need to send you my earnings form work, so we can buy a house together, but oh by the way you have to wire just over a $1,000 for the money to get delivered) really? I so do not think so!

so now I am getting bored an restless, need to go have some fun. A&T were going to have a swing party but only one other couple and me said they were coming so they canceled it. I suggested just having a small thing with the 5 of us. Will have to wait and see if she wants to do that. I invited W&G but G has been in a lot of back pain lately, I feel so bad for her.

I wonder when the next big party at K&B's is? I should ask A if she has heard anything.

someones bio gave me the best idea for weeding out the people who do not read my entire bio. At the very end I instruct them to put the following sentience in the subject line of e-mail
"normal is boring"
also weeds out the guys who can not follow simple instructions.

not sure if I have mentioned before, but I am thinking of doing up my own sex advice web site. have articles where I talk about techniques, karma sutra and different fetishes.
and have a question and answer thing. plus links to other sites with info.
next GST check that I get I am going to buy a better computer from a friend of mine and get a web design program and art program so I can get started. I have already written a few articles, but need to do a lot more so I have plenty when I start to do up the web site.
I may even do up a mini site to show of some of my art work on the paint program that come with every computer.

maybe I should share a few articles on here... next post maybe

camping trip

The trip was a lot of fun.
It rained most the time and was cold, but I had a blast.

As I said before my friend from the city came out for our 3rd date.
M is an awesome guy. easy to work with and does not get frustrated easy.
For a city boy he did a pretty good job at the camping thing.
Too bad he lives so far away. But in the end he is not interested in living out in the boonys, like I want to. On the very long drive up we got to talk and get to know each other a bit better. When I spotted some bears he even turned around so we could see them again. A mom and 2 baby cubs.

Got there at 2 am, set up tent, played, and went to sleep.
Next morning we got to meet everyone. There was about a dozen people, mostly couples but 2 single guys as well. There were people from all over the Provence. Every one was so nice, just a good bunch of people. As I always find with the swinger croud.

unfortunately because of the cold and the rain and some kids on the other end of the camp. No one really got to get naked or play out side. I was the only one who played in public, with M and and older guy. As soon as he was done M went to bed, he was so tired poor thing. But it was such a turn on to be sitting on his lap while him and the other guy fondled me. Everyone else was around the fire talking, some were watching some weren't. It's nice being around people that find nudity and even public sex to just not be a very big deal.

So all in all even if there wasn't as much playing as I would have liked, I had a great time made a few new friends, and hopefully some will get back to me and maybe invite me out camping again.

I also managed to harvest a few healing herbs for myself. such a great trip.
I missed camping, haven't gone since I moved here from the city.

july camping trip

I am getting very excited about going on a swinger weekend camping trip.
the Vancouver guy who took me to my first 2 swinger party's is taking me.
Should be fun, I hope some people I know are going. It seems that every time I go to a party I know more and more people there so I am sure I will know a few.

One of the great things about being a swinger is I get to meet all kinds of people I would never have met otherwise. It is hard to make friend when you move to a new town and don't know anyone, especially if you do not work. With the 3 couples I play with on a long term basis. They are my good friends as well as playmates.
Even if I have not found my own partner I am still making lots of friends.

why do i do this blog?

So some of you may be wondering why I do this blog.

I Like the idea of being able to look back and have a few laughs at some of my dating adventers. but why publicly? well it helps if I imagin talking to someone. even if I only have 3 followers lol and I feel more pressure to keep it up. I have started and stoped a few diarys. I can just never keep it up.

Also I have noticed how in the closet most swingers are. I think the world needs to know what the swinger lifestyle is really like. But it is hard to do with out compromising peoples privacy. That's why I go out of my way to not have any names, and I even go so far as to only tell you I live somewhere in canada. All though I am sure the 3 followers I have do know me and where I live, if ever more people start to read it, they will not know.

Besides everyone does everything on the net these days.

he's back

So if you can recall back a while ago to the party house, and how S's friend K came by my place a few times after.
Well I hadn't heard from him a about a month or so. Then he called me the other day wanting to take me to the beach. He told me he was single now. I could tell he was definitely into me. and things have been soo slow lately on the dating scene. So I made him a deal. We can date casually and all I expect from him is sex a minimum of once a week and he has to take me to swinger events. He didn't argue. lol

Unfortunately when we did get to playing he started having issues as soon as i put the condom on him. That happens to too many guys! Sometimes I think it is a lot in their heads. Guys have such a negative response to the idea of condoms. What is that?

So I am hoping this all means I will have someone to see on a regular basis this summer. I'm sure the sex will get better, I hope. lol

bored

so i haven't been on a first date since that guy took me to the nude beach. (haven't heard from him since) I have been trying. but the few guys i have talked to on line can't seem to get it together enough to meet me. I am also not getting as many responses on line these days. i think i have gone though most of the swinger guys in the area lol
I hope not.

for the 2 years i have lived in this town i haven't met anyone yet who has gotten past the 3rd date. Is it them? is it me? not sure. I don't think i am asking too much and i give each guy a fare chance. I KNOW there are not many single bi swinger girls out there. The couple i see are always telling me how hard it it to meet one. with that on my side it should be easy.

I think i am a good catch. I'm pretty, nicer then most people i know, i have a good sense of humor, i love to cook, I'm easy to talk to, and i give back rubs.

maybe my faults are to much for some guys. I hate cleaning, i have a mental illness (bi-polar/anxiety disorder) and i tend to cut people off when they are talking. oh and the smoking and pot smoking are a deal breaker for some.

personally i think my good quality's out weigh the bad.

i do know from the past that when i do meet someone that is into me they are very into me. just hope it is mutual lol

so i am just feeling frustrated these days. but maybe a slow down is for the best. i am having a lot of physical illnesses these days. multiple issues all at once. so maybe i should just concentrate on myself this summer and on my son who is coming to visit.

I do get to have a little bit of fun in July. there is going to be a big swingers camping trip and i already have a date (the guy who took me to the first 2 swing party's) at least i know he is reliable and will show if he says he is going to show.

party

my couple A and T has a swing party last night. their first party.

only had a few couples and every one was shy to start playing.even had a few people leave before the playing got going. a few very shy people.

but it was their first party so no it was a first time to meet each other for most of us, i knew one other couple, met them at the last two parties i went to, never played with them yet.

i didn't even get to play too much, because i had my period, but i did give a great BJ and got to watch everyone else go at it. i do love to watch.

-----

so the last few months has been rather slow for meeting new guys. last first date was the nude beach. maybe i have already gone through most of the single swinger guys in this area lol

still haven't been able to meet the guy that lives out north.
long distance sucks! but he seems perfect for me, and is willing to offer me everything i have ever wanted. my dream underground house and all. we just gotta meet in person to see if we hit it off as much as we have on line. so while i am still trying to meet guys and date i am hoping this northern guy is the one. i keep waiting for us to disagree on something but everything i bring up and ask him about he agrees with me and wants the same things and he is amazed too that i want the same thing. tying not to hope too much, but can't help it. i guess i am a sucker for the idea of love.

hiku

wrote some porn hikus for a contest, thought i would share on here as well.
we were aloud to write 10 hikus so i wrote them in such a way as to stand alone or can be read all together as one poem

I lay on the bed
Anticipating ready
They slowly strip down

Caressing nipples
A tong on each swollen breast
A moan escapes me

His hand traces down
Finding wetness rubbing me
She nibbles my neck

Fingers slide inside
Hard nipple between my teeth
Feels so good naked bodies

She straddles my face
While he fucks me with fingers
Licking her pussy

Faster and harder
I scream into her pussy
As he makes me cum

My mouth makes her squirm
His hard cock from behind
He’s spanking my ass

He stands before us
We lick his dick up and down
Taking turns sucking

She straddles his cock
I straddle his eager mouth
Closer and closer

Louder and louder
We cum in an explosion
Threesome ecstasy

party

I finally got to go to another swinger party!! yea me! lol
my couple A and T took me.
Tons of people as always, all ages and sizes. I can never get over how different the atmosphere is at these partys compared to regular partys. people are friendlier, and people talk to everyone a bit, most partys they stay with their friends. But because every one wants to get laid...
I always get alot of attention.

On sat I found me a young hot guy, to play with, his penis curves up, perfect to hit the g-spot. Was awesome. We were just starting when another couple came in the room and started going at it on the bed beside us, she was screaming soo loud a bunch of people came to watch, totally distracted me and the guy lol we didn't get down to business till they were done. I always say watching people have sex in person is soo much better then watching a porno.

then later I was in the same room watching A and T going at it when another couple came in and started playing with me. She was my first Asian. Very cute.

Then when I was getting T to use his magic fingers on me, this guy came up and offered me his dick, so what the hell, I gave him a BJ. He said he had wanted to do that to me all night.

But that was all the playing I got to do, because soon after that the headache I had all night turned into a migraine, so we left. Had to keep stopping the car so I could puke, all the way back to the town I live in, was a very long ride to the hospital. Thank goodness I hadn't had too much to drink, and had not had any for a few hours before the migraine, might have complicated things. It was hell enough anyways. It's now Tuesday and I still look like shit, blood vessels in my eyeballs burst, when I was puking and even burst some around my eyes as well.

so it was a mixed night, had a blast at first then went through hell after.

twist

So here is an interesting twist on the party guy fiasco.

His friend K came by at 9am today. He came in we chatted he asked for a back rub, swore up and down it was OK with his gf J (having already spoken to her on the subject I believe him). and I am nice so I gave him a back rub and he trys for the happy ending (men) says it is ok with J, again I tend to believe him but I am not totaly stupid and I learn from my mistakes. so I said no until the 3 of us got together, and I talked to her in person. Apparently his gf had told him she wants a 3 way with me. She is a hotty and very cool.

He said he would call later. but the only call i got was from party guys gf a few hours ago, she said hi, then said she would call back, then didn't...odd

the party guy

so the party guys birthday was on the first. He called and asked me to come. I made him ask his gf's permission first. Apparently he had informed her that he wanted a few girls in his bed, for his birthday.
He said show up at any time

When I did show up it was only her there. He was picking up a check or something.
Was a bit awkward, but I asked her if we were ok and she said yes. By the time he showed up he was soo drunk. After afew drinks I put on a good song to dance to and danced all sexy for the two of them, she joined me..The other people there seemed to be enjoying the show. lol
After it was time to go up stairs, she told me to be naked when she got there. (she had to get rid of the other people)

So me and him started without her and all was going well till she showed up.
Never played with a girl like her before, and frankly don't ever want to again.

One minute she seems into it the next she is pushing him away saying no no leave me alone. (he is apparently used to this) After he trys for a few minutes she relents and lets him touch her. but she just kept doing that all night, sometimes seeming to be jealous of me there, other times ordering me to go down on her. then acting like she is going to get up and leave, then when I feel unwelcome and I say I am going to leave then both of them are saying no, stay. it was very confusing. too many mixed messages.
and of course because he was drunk he couldn't get it up if his life depended on it lol

I've been with alot of couples, and never been with one so fucked up!

on a more positive note the other new couple A and T are fun to play with and it looks like it will be an ongoing thing. last time they came over we tied her up and teased her ect. he can make her ejaculate soo much she soaked through the towel i put down. at one point she squirted so far she went past the bed and hit the floor! quite amazing lol

extra info--female ejaculation is not urine, where the g-spot is, there is also a bubble of fluid, when you make her have a g-spot Orgasm the fluid comes out her urethra. that's why she thinks she is peeing. a girl can ejaculate CUPS of fluid.

bad choices

so the party guy

Here is the whole story on him.
He has a girl friend, and told me they had an open relationship and that she regularly played with girls, and that he was aloud to play separate. I told him that when I saw her next I was going to talk to her and ask her. I thought this would insure honesty on his part.

My usual rule is to talk to the woman in person and ask before I ever play with the guy separate, but I was horny and it all seemed on the up and up.

However he did not tell her we had played, his excuse was she never asked.
The next time when he showed up with some friends and we got very very drunk, and played at the end of the night. Apparently she then asked him if we had sex and his excuse was that he did not remember.

So with all that happening I went over to there house for a few drinks ect, thinking that everything was all OK...As soon as I walked in the door, his girlfriend gave me a dirty look and I knew something was wrong. So I had a few drinks to work up my nerve and went up to her and told her he had told me they had an open relationship and I asked if that was true. she of course wanted to know what we had done already. she was not happy.

I was just hoping she wasn't gonna start hitting me,she said she wanted to. I apologised ,a lot,and admitted that yes I should have talked to her first.
Then came the twist, she said she wanted to have sex with me, and wanted me to strip for her. I said that seemed fair. but in the end she was just too upset, so I left and told her I wouldn't come back without her permission.

soo I went against my own rules and it bit me in the ass, and it caused problems with someone elses relationship. I feel terrible about the whole thing.

so lesson learned, hope

sex drive

so it's been awhile since I have written on here.

I met a guy, will call him the suit because he wears a suit all the time, he wanted to be my primary. So we gave it a shot and I stopped looking for new single guys. but it only lasted a few weeks. He has a real problem with my weed smoking and is worried about it affecting his job if I get busted with weed when he is with me. I respect that, but that means we have no future together. I am not going to quit smoking weed, so I need to find weed friendly guys. We did agree to use each other for booty calls though hehe. So I now have a single male for a booty call.

I also met another guy I am going to use as a booty call. Met him in person at a party house a friend took me too. He seems nice but drinks all the time (that's why he is just good for sex) I'll call him the party guy, because he is for me to play with when I go to that house to party, when I am in the mood. The bonus with him is that he lives in the same town as me, and he doesn't work, so I hope to be able to see him at least once a week.

I got to go to a swingers dance, held at a bar one town over. I had a blast and met some new people. Always amazes me how nice and friendly everyone is at swinger events. A good group of people all around I think. I didn't go home with anyone, though I could have that night. but I had a cold, I forced myself to go, but was very tired at the end of the night.

so lets recap
I now have 3 couples to play with on a regular basis
C and J
W and G
A and T

two guys for a booty call
the party guy
the suit

and I have recently heard back from a guy I met 2 years ago, the young paramedic, so I may be adding him to my booty call list, he is supposed to come over tomorrow, so will see then.

But I am also still looking for love and my primary relationship

It sounds like a lot when I write it all down, but I still feel like I am not getting enough sex. my sex drive has recently gone up even more then it was. Not sure yet what is causing it. My doctor sluffs it off as me being manic, but it does not feel like any manic I have felt before. It is more like a need, like sex is a drug for me and I need my fix or I don't feel right. even if I am getting it once a week it is not enough, I just need more. before I could manage with once a week. It is starting to feel like I am loosing control. I know from the past that when my sex drive goes up I tend to make bad decisions, I am not as picky about who I have sex with. and if I really feel in the need I will go to the bar and pick a guy up for a one night stand, witch is not good.

It wouldn't be so bad if I did have someone that could come see me a few times a week to make sure I got what I needed. but everyone I play with, except the party guy, has jobs and are busy with life so I don't get to see them as often as I would like.I think that's why I keep adding more booty calls to the list.

It feel like no matter how much I am getting it is not enough. A high sex drive can be a good thing, but when it is too much and it is actually uncomfortable to be without for even a couple days, it is not fun.