sex drive

so it's been awhile since I have written on here.

I met a guy, will call him the suit because he wears a suit all the time, he wanted to be my primary. So we gave it a shot and I stopped looking for new single guys. but it only lasted a few weeks. He has a real problem with my weed smoking and is worried about it affecting his job if I get busted with weed when he is with me. I respect that, but that means we have no future together. I am not going to quit smoking weed, so I need to find weed friendly guys. We did agree to use each other for booty calls though hehe. So I now have a single male for a booty call.

I also met another guy I am going to use as a booty call. Met him in person at a party house a friend took me too. He seems nice but drinks all the time (that's why he is just good for sex) I'll call him the party guy, because he is for me to play with when I go to that house to party, when I am in the mood. The bonus with him is that he lives in the same town as me, and he doesn't work, so I hope to be able to see him at least once a week.

I got to go to a swingers dance, held at a bar one town over. I had a blast and met some new people. Always amazes me how nice and friendly everyone is at swinger events. A good group of people all around I think. I didn't go home with anyone, though I could have that night. but I had a cold, I forced myself to go, but was very tired at the end of the night.

so lets recap
I now have 3 couples to play with on a regular basis
C and J
W and G
A and T

two guys for a booty call
the party guy
the suit

and I have recently heard back from a guy I met 2 years ago, the young paramedic, so I may be adding him to my booty call list, he is supposed to come over tomorrow, so will see then.

But I am also still looking for love and my primary relationship

It sounds like a lot when I write it all down, but I still feel like I am not getting enough sex. my sex drive has recently gone up even more then it was. Not sure yet what is causing it. My doctor sluffs it off as me being manic, but it does not feel like any manic I have felt before. It is more like a need, like sex is a drug for me and I need my fix or I don't feel right. even if I am getting it once a week it is not enough, I just need more. before I could manage with once a week. It is starting to feel like I am loosing control. I know from the past that when my sex drive goes up I tend to make bad decisions, I am not as picky about who I have sex with. and if I really feel in the need I will go to the bar and pick a guy up for a one night stand, witch is not good.

It wouldn't be so bad if I did have someone that could come see me a few times a week to make sure I got what I needed. but everyone I play with, except the party guy, has jobs and are busy with life so I don't get to see them as often as I would like.I think that's why I keep adding more booty calls to the list.

It feel like no matter how much I am getting it is not enough. A high sex drive can be a good thing, but when it is too much and it is actually uncomfortable to be without for even a couple days, it is not fun.