respect

I haven't written in a bit because i was pondering a few happenings for a bit.

a few weeks ago I went on a first date with a good looking black guy. even though I told him I do not have sex on the first date he kept pushing and pushing, I was kinda horny anyways... but I should have just told him off and walked away when he implied that coming all the way from the town (a half hour away) was a wast of time if he didn't get laid...but I didn't and agreed to sleep with him after he promised it was not a one night stand. well as expected he was a selfish lover who only cared about himself getting off, and surprise he has never gotten back to me, not that I would want to see him again anyways. I am very upset with myself for getting duped into yet another one night stand and because I did not walk away from a rude guy when I should have. maybe I am more addicted to sex then I thought. or it really does take me 24 hours or so to think about a date before I can really decide if I want to see them again. I tend to ignore obvious faults and rudeness at first until I am able to think on it later.

then just this week a guy I had dated when I first moved to the province was trying to talk to me and such, I told him I was not interested in dating him again he had fucked that up when he told me he didn't want to see me again until I provided him with another girl to play with us...he said fucking was not dating. I told him I didn't want to have sex with him either, I only wanted to be friends and he got upset. told me that was all I was good for, that no one would ever think different of me,and that he was the best I could hope to get.

my main thoughts on that that is what an ASSHOLE! and just because I love sex does not mean that is all there is too me. and besides I am good at a few other things besides sex.

I'm and artist and a herbalist. I take a healing herbal concoction over to the mission every day and apply it to anyone with an owey or a sunburn. if someone is hurt worse I give them a full container to apply constantly. and I am always told how nice i am.
my FWB guy was over when the asshole was saying all the crap to me and he thinks the asshole is totally wrong as well. considering I have pretty much cut off my FWB from sex the last few months, and amazingly he still comes over for a few days every week just to hang out, talk and watch tv with me (but i have to admit he is the first guy i have cut off that really still wanted to be friends after)

so between the guys who use me for one night stands and the asshole and am feeling very disrespected. respect is a very big thing with me. anyone i sleep with on a continual basis respects me, the ones that don't I just stop seeing. so I do know there are guys who will respect me regardless of my sexual appetites.

my problem is that there are sooo many guys out there on the net date sites that do not respect women at all and no matter how I word my bios all they read is bisexual swinger and they think that is all I am about and that I am an easy target for a one night stand. I've always had that problem of people miss understanding me because I talk bluntly about sex but it seems to be accelerated because I am talking to so many guys in such a short time. but really I am getting tired of the frogs. and any decent guy I have met, the really nice guys are lousy in bed. these days I would just be happy to get past a 3rd date with someone who is actually interested in having a real relationship.